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Chapter 4

Revelation

I had just reached the entrance to the kitchen when David burst from the stairwell and shouted at me, “ROSALINE! Stop right there!” I had never heard him talk to me that way before and the shock of it made me freeze in my tracks. “I will not let you leave me again, not like this. You will talk to me.”

“You can’t keep me here.” I said bravely, raising my chin, my jaw stubbornly set. He stalked toward me, a steely glint in his eye and I had to fight my natural instinct to run like prey before a hunter.

“No? You don’t think so? Go ahead and try me.” He stopped right before me, glaring down into my face and I had the sudden urge to giggle at his hopeless attempt to be hard and cold to me.

“What’s so funny?” and just like that, my sweet David was back.

“‘Try me’? Did you just say ‘try me’? What are you going to do, spank me?” his eyes widened.

“Now there’s a novel idea, let’s do that.” He bent at the waist and thrust a shoulder into my stomach, upending me over his shoulder. I gave a small ‘oof’ as the air was pushed from my lungs, my feet kicking in protest beneath his strong arm, while my eyes drank in the sight of his shapely ass.

“David! What are you doing, put me down right now!”

“Shush, or you’ll wake the kids.” He swatted my upturned behind with an open palm and I gasped. It actually stung! How dare he! He marched back the way we came, carrying me as easily as if I were nothing more than a blanket draped over his shoulder, but he didn’t take me back downstairs. Instead he stepped through the right hand door and into his office, shutting the door behind him. He flipped on a switch, turning on soft recessed lighting. He finally released me, and I slid the full length of his body, feeling every bulge and press of muscle on my way down.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t give me much of a choice did you? You can’t leave yet, Rosaline, you just can’t. If you left now…” he ducked his head, hiding his face for a moment. “I don’t know if I could handle you leaving like that again. You left that exact way the last time, remember? My last image of you in that Frankfurt airport was of you running away from me.”

“You left out that you were the reason I was in that airport. I didn’t ask to leave.” I said, feeling more than a little defensive.

“I know, I know,” he said gently, raising his hands in supplication. “But you didn’t talk to me either about what was going on with you, which is one of the reasons why I sent you back home. Am I right?” I bit my lip, still feeling defiant, but unable to meet his eyes in the face of my guilt.

“Hey,” he gripped my chin and forced me to look up at him. “I need you to hear me loud and clear; I can’t take that again, you leaving without fucking talking to me. Please talk to me.” The look in his eyes sobered me and I gave in, angry with myself. He was right, I couldn’t leave like this. It wouldn’t be fair to him. I knew I was too much of a chicken shit that even if I said I’d call, the thought of confronting painful feelings would make me chicken out and I wouldn’t, just like fifteen years ago. I would hide rather than get things out in the open. I owed him an explanation, if not for why I wanted to leave now, then to make up for how I left things fifteen years ago.

My shoulders sagged and the fight went out of me. Seeing this, he led me to a plush wingback leather armchair in the far corner of the room. I marveled for a moment at the opulence, stroking the supple leather and breathing in the smell of the books stacked on the shelves behind me. He sat on the footstool, spreading his legs and resting his knees against either side of the chair, trapping my legs between his. We clasped hands and naturally leaned toward one another until our foreheads touched, breathing in each other’s scent. All of this had a calming effect on me, steadying my nerves. He pulled back and looked in my eyes. His brilliant blue eyes were glowing in the soft light, earnest and pleading.

“Now, tell me why you ran away.”

“Ok, ok… I guess I was feeling…” I searched for the right word, “um… overwhelmed.”

“With what? Jocelyn?” I nodded my head. “Ok, then let’s break this down and take a look at this one piece at a time. What part overwhelmed you? Her outlook on sexuality?” I shook my head.

“No, but that is a lot to take.” I looked at him shrewdly, “David, you know what was overwhelming,” I said firmly.

“Yes, I do know, but part of this thing, part of us being together again, if it’s going to work, is that we have to actually say the things that are bothering us out loud.” I sighed, even though he was right, it was still hard to do. I was raised to keep hurt feelings bottled up, to smile in the face of pain even though my heart was breaking. David took mercy on me, however, understanding this about me and didn’t force me.

“Ok, escort let me ask you something specific then if it’s so hard for you; did you like it? I mean, it looked like you liked it from where I was standing. Did you cum?” I nodded my head. “I see. I think I know what’s going on here, what you’re feeling.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I mean, we grew up in the same religion, went to the same church on Sundays, listened to the same talks from the Bishop, our parents raised us with the same set of scriptures that not only were read to us each family-home evening, but were also forced to study every morning during seminary school before going to actual school.

“I know you’re feeling ashamed and guilty for finding pleasure with a woman, am I right?” I nodded again, biting my lip. David chuckled and squeezed my hands.

“Oh, Rosie, you’re too adorable for words.”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not making fun, I’m sorry, it’s just, I understand exactly what you’re going through and I find it so sweet.”

“Um, in case you didn’t know this David, you’re a man, and I’m not, so… how could you know exactly what I’m going through?” I dipped my head, feeling a little mocked no matter how sweet or adorable he said I was.

“Because I had all those same hateful feelings of shame and guilt the first time I was with another man.” My head shot up and I stared at him.

“What?” It was his turn to nod his head and he smirked at my incredulity. “No way, there is just no way that’s true.”

“Why? Why can’t it be true?”

“Because…. Uh, because… well, you’re you.” David laughed.

“Thank you, I think?” He smiled gently down at me. “Jocelyn and I have been with other couples, I think she told you that, right?” I nodded. “Well, we would pair off sometimes, she with the other husband, and I with the other wife, and once with a very close couple we know, she paired off with the other wife and I with the other husband.

“That first time with a man was really hard for me, just like it’s hard for you now, because I was fighting all of that crap our parents and their religion taught me about how love is sacred and only between a man and a woman, but Rosie, what Jocelyn said was true.

“Sexuality is based on what society tells us, it’s based on what our bodies want and need. We shouldn’t fight what feels right to us just because we fear reprisal from our parents or the society in which we live. As long as we are safe, of course. I’m not advocating rape or pedophilia or that shit; that kind of sexuality is ruled and governed by a diseased mind, not by the body’s sexuality.” I nodded my head in agreement to that, at least.

“All I’m trying to say is that God would not want us to hate who we are for any reason, especially for who we love with our mature, healthy mind and bodies, which, in His eyes, are our most sacred temples. That is not what God is about. That’s not what my God is about any way.”

This was a lot to take in and process. David with another man? It was forcing me to acknowledge the span of time between the David I used to know and love and this David in front of me. I did still love him, no question about that, but there were new things to discover and learn about him, about who he was as a person now, and this was the first time I began to really understand that. I felt a keen sense of loss all of a sudden, for the years spent apart, and I wanted more than anything to learn everything I could about him and those missing fifteen years.

“What was it like for you? Being with another man?” What I really wanted to ask was ‘what kinds of things did you do?’, but I wasn’t brave enough. David smiled and sat back, looking at me in that ‘I see through you’ way and I knew he knew what I hadn’t asked.

“It was scary, at first, like I said, but then… when I let go, when I just allowed myself to listen to what my body liked and what my body wanted, getting out of my head… it was not bad.”

“Meaning not good, right?” I asked with a hint of smirk that I just couldn’t keep from creeping into my voice.

“No, that’s not what I meant, miss sassy pants.” He tapped me on my nose with one of his long index fingers in mock scolding and I couldn’t help but giggle despite the still-present feelings of shame and guilt. David could just do that for me, make me smile and laugh no matter what I was feeling.

“All I’m trying to say is that when I let go of the social and religious trappings that attempted to hold me back from such an experience I learned more about my sexuality than before. I learned to enjoy the moment, to do what feels right despite those social and religious mores that previously demanded I do no such thing.” He gathered my hands in his and rubbed the palms of my hands with his strong thumbs in soothing circles. I felt so supported and cared for with just a simple act that the tension I hadn’t realized I was holding started escort bayan to melt away and my shoulders relaxed. David, observing this, smiled and continued.

“I’m not saying that I’d go out right now and find a random guy to fuck, quite the contrary. I’m just saying that I shouldn’t turn down the opportunity to engage in sexual play with another man if it felt right at that moment. Having experienced sex with another man I can confidently say that for me, it’s more than likely not going to feel right. Like you, I enjoy a strong commitment with my sexual partner because it enhances the enjoyment I get out of it, and I have never felt any kind of emotional attachment or romantic feelings for any man.”

I chewed my lip in contemplation and David’s gentle, soothing circles traveled out from my palms to my wrists and up my forearms while he let me think.

“So basically what you’re saying is ‘don’t knock it till you’ve tried it,’ right?”

David laughed. “If you wanted to put it so simply, that is. I guess it is that simple, when you think about it.” I nodded. “It’s just… how do you know that you couldn’t be with Joss if you don’t at least try? It’s all about what feels right. Don’t do anything your body wouldn’t want you to do. The tricky part, for me, and for you, is getting out of our heads. It is hard to step out from under the restricting shadow of our upbringing but unless we do, the question will always be if it’s your upbringing that is deciding who you love or if it is truly your choices, what you want for yourself.”

“You’re making more sense now.”

“Good. It was hard to get there but I’m glad I did.”

“There’s just one more thing.” It was hard to concentrate on what my problems were with those lovely magic hands now tracing gentle teasing patterns on my thighs, digging in to the taut muscles and then soothing the light sting, but I persisted and met his eyes to ask the truly tough question: “Do your parents know that you’ve been with a man, about your ‘swinger’ lifestyle?” David grinned and shook his head no.

“That would probably kill my mother; you remember her, right?”

“Oh yeah, I remember her. Miss Martha.”

“Yep, she would have an apoplectic fit.”

“What would she say about what you and Jocelyn want to do with me?”

“Man, you sure know how to ask the tough questions.”

“Well, it’s our reality. My mom would throw the same fit your mom would, and my mom means the world to me. There is no way she would be willing to accept this three-way marriage thing.”

“I know, but, well, all you need to care about is whether or not you can accept it. It’s what you and I want, Rosie that matters, not what they want for us.”

“I wish I could see it that way, but I don’t know if I can, Davey, I really don’t.” David sighed and leaned forward again. He ran one of his hands through my hair, trailing his fingers in the long blonde strands absentmindedly.

“In the end, the only advice I can really give you is this what this very sexy, very wise woman once said; ‘don’t knock it till you try it.'” I burst out laughing, pleased he could see the humor in all of this while paying homage to where it was due, and he joined in. When he had sobered he looked me in the eye, a hint of that earlier hunger I had glimpsed downstairs shining through. “But you did cum, right? You said that. Focus on those feelings. I want you do something for me; close your eyes right now.”

“What?”

“Close them.” I did as he said and shut my eyes tight, trusting him implicitly.

“I want you to picture Jocelyn. Bring her face to mind. Do you see her?” His husky whisper rasped out in the still room and I nodded my head. Jocelyn’s face was there, her wide, but still faintly feminine jaw, her thin upper lip and lush bottom lip, her pert nose and wide set golden brown eyes framed with arched brows and a pixie cut.

“Think about her mouth on yours. Did it feel good, Rosie, her lips, her tongue? What about her hands as they caressed you, pulled you to her, were they strong? Did they feel good?”

“Yes,” I breathed, lost in the vision his words helped bloom before my closed lids.

“And when she kissed your gorgeous, supple breasts, pinched and sucked your nipple, did it feel good?”

I nodded, unable to speak. I felt my nipples tingle as they became erect with the memory of Jocelyn’s weak, soft lips and searching tongue. I was greatly aroused again, marveling at the fact that even though I had just cum, his simple, spell-binding words had me ready to cum again. I felt his hand slip beneath the v of my shirt, sliding under my bra and I started to open my eyes.

“Keep your eyes closed, baby, just listen… feel.” I shut my eyes tight again and focused on the play of his hand on my breast, pinching and rolling my left nipple, making it bead even more under his attention. He pulled me forward on the chair and spread my legs with his free bayan escort hand.

“And this,” he continued, now rubbing the damp front of my stretchy jeans right over my hungry pussy.

“When she rubbed you here, her hard thigh pressing into this hot, little mound…. Did it feel good?” His voice was so thick, his hands insistent. I whimpered in the back of my throat and nodded my head once again.

“Good,” he said and his breath fell against my lips, “that’s all that matters. If it feels good, if your body wants it, likes it, don’t fight it.”

He captured my mouth with his own and I threw my arms around him, pulling him to me. This felt right, this felt good, this felt needed in a way I could never truly understand. If I didn’t need to understand why this felt good, did I really need to understand why Jocelyn’s kiss and touch also felt good? Did it matter all that much in the grand scheme of things?

David was now kneeling between my spread thighs and I wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him into me so that I could feel the thick press of his hard cock against my needy pussy. It ached to be filled, literally ached. I could feel my heart beating in those engorged folds and hard little clit. I ground my pussy against the hardness trapped in his jeans and he moaned into my mouth.

“Davey,” I pulled back and looked into his lust filled eyes, “please… please fuck me. I need your cock so badly, please.”

“Oh god, Rosie,” David unsnapped and unzipped his jeans, and fumbled around in the front of his pants. I stilled his hands and helped him by pulling down the front of his gray boxer briefs.

I reached in and pulled out his eight inch cock, feeling that throb of pleasure spasm through me from my pussy to my breasts at the sight of his swollen glans, purple now with prolonged need.

He yanked down my jeans and panties, not bothering to unbutton them, as it really wasn’t necessary thankfully because of the stretchy material. He pulled off my shoe and when one leg was finally free, he pulled me even further forward on the leather chair so that my pussy was presented at the edge.

“Oh, you are so beautiful. You have a perfect pussy, like a ripe peach, a fat little mound.” he breathed reverently down at the sight, stroking my bald pussy with his thumbs and parting my folds. I was beat red there and so wet that I could hear the trail his thumbs made through my juicy lips. I arched my back, gasping, when he found and teased my hard clit.

“Please, Davey, I can’t take much more. I need you.” He leaned forward then, his cock seared my pussy lips with its intense heat just before he plunged into my depths. I cried out, loudly, at the sudden fullness and stretch.

“You’re so wet, but still so tight,” he grunted, thrusting easily in and out of my dripping snatch.

“Yes, yes, you feel so good, so fucking good, I love your cock.” I panted back. He did feel so, so good, filling me up, then pulling nearly all the way out only to slam back in again. He pulled my face to his, latching our mouths together. How he had the presence of mind to tease and play with my lips and tongue while his cock teased and played with my g-spot, hitting that rough patch of pleasure just right with every varied thrust, I’ll never know. It was just one of those things about David, about the way our bodies seemed to effortlessly fit together that I didn’t have an explanation for. His cock felt so good, the subtle curve, the angle of my pussy perched so perfectly on the edge of the chair, the way his right hand gripped my hip, holding me steady to receive his expert pounding while his left held the back of my neck, keeping my mouth in place for his own, to swallow my moans and cries of pleasure… it was all too perfect and exactly what I needed, what I had been craving.

He picked up the pace, each thrust now focused on assaulting my clit with a stinging smack that felt so good after the earlier rubbing climax Jocelyn gave me. It didn’t take long until I was again at my peak and then tumbling over. I cried out, my legs stiffening and pulling David to me as I came on his cock, my hips rocking back and forth with each little pulse of my orgasm, my hot breath washing over his lips and neck.

“Holy fuck, Rosie, your pussy… ugh…” David said against my mouth as he thrust up into my orgasm, spending himself in my depths. I could feel his cock spasm and spurt his hot cum and I swelled with an intense joy at the feeling of it.

David rested his forehead on mine and dragged air into his lungs, bathing me with his breaths that cooled my overheated skin. I ran my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp, then down over his back, tracing the thick muscles of his shoulders, down over his ribs and then around to the front, sliding my hand beneath his clinging tee and luxuriating in the feel of his skin, so warm and tight, his stomach tense to the point where I could trace the outline of each muscle before spreading my hands across his chest.

“I love you,” he whispered down at me when he had finally regained control of his breathing. I smiled up at him, drinking in his beautiful face.

“I love you too.”

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