Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32

Subject: Headline Hayden Chapter 11: Fathers and Sons I will leave Hayden’s age up to my readers and note that this is a complete work of fantasy. This story is set in a completely fictional world and I certainly would not encourage anyone to try and replicate this fantasy in the real world. It is just a flight of my fancy. Please feel free to email me at ail with feedback, comments and suggestions! This is my first Nifty story so go easy on me. Headline Hayden Chapter 11: Fathers and Sons Life comes in waves, endlessly rocking against us. I’d had a whole weekend of passion, pleasure and simple companionship with Hayden and that glow lasted with me as the week started off. Once again, I was floating above the ground as I walked down the street and work just seemed to fly by. I’d started a series on the theatre scene in the city and was having fun seeing some of the plays that were on. It was one of those times when the world seems stable and solid. I should have remembered the fact that, the moment we get comfortable, something usually comes along to upset that equilibrium and cast us adrift. I was just coming back from a particularly enjoyable performance of “The Seagull” when my phone rang. I looked at the display and it was Emmy calling. I furrowed my brow and answered. “Emmy? What’s up?” Her voice was tense and shadowed. “It’s Hayden. I can’t find him anywhere. He’s not home and he’s not answering his phone. Can you try to call him?” “Yeah. Hang on! I’m sure he just missed the calls.” I brought up his number and punched ‘call’. It rang through and went to his voicemail. I left him a message and waited, sure that he’d call me back in a few minutes. Those minutes, however, turned quickly into hours and stretched on into the night. I called Emmy back to ask if she’d heard from him and she said she hadn’t. Now I was seriously worried, a gnawing fear starting to eat away at me, making me feel queasy and shaky. It wasn’t like Hayden not to get back, even if it was just a quick text to say that he was busy and would get back when he could. Emmy called again to say she’d tried all of the breakdance team including Jason and none of them had heard from him. His parents, of course, were equally worried. From the heights, I had been plunged into the depths. It was a sickening feeling not knowing where he was or why he wasn’t answering his phone. Every dark possibility ran through my mind, every horrible scene that I could think of playing out in gory detail as I contemplated the myriad horrors that might await him out there in the cruel, hard world we live in. The hell of it was that I couldn’t even tell anyone besides Emmy what I felt. My first suspicion had been Jason, but from what I was being told he was just as concerned as anyone else. I wracked my brains for anything that Hayden and I had talked about but there seemed to be balıkesir escort nothing that immediately sprang to mind that would get him into so much trouble that he’d run. I wondered when the police would be brought in. I wondered if attention and suspicion would turn to me. I knew that Emmy would have to tell them about me if they asked. Although my main concern was Hayden’s welfare, I knew that I’d be less than useless to him if I became falsely implicated. It was up to me to find him for both of our sakes. Running through my mental inventory of where he’d go and what he might be doing if anything went wrong, I concluded that the quiet, hidden spot in the park that he liked was the most promising place to begin. He might have wandered the streets for hours, but that is where he’d end up. Trepidation and worry clawed at me as I made my way to the park. I had to force focus on myself when I was driving to avoid colliding with someone, so acute was the sense of fear that had seized me. Eventually I reached the park and began making my way through the network of pathways that criss-crossed it. The secret spot that Hayden loved was deep in a wooded part of the park, quiet and mossy, a hidden oasis from the world. As I drew closer, my heart pounded in my chest and I felt my palms sweat with anxiety and fear. I turned around a twist in the trail and stopped. My heart froze in my chest as I saw Hayden laying on the moss, on his side. Rushing across the glade, I dropped to my knees beside him, expecting the worst. Instead he stirred, turned and looked at me with red-rimmed eyes. It was clear he’d been crying. “Matt! I…I’m so sorry.” Without a word, I grabbed him, pulled him up and crushed him to my chest in a hug. I kissed his golden halo of hair and softly stroked his back. “What’s going on Hayden? You have scared THE FUCK out of all of us! Why aren’t you answering anyone’s texts or calls?” Slowly he broke the hug and sat, more closed in on himself than I’d ever seen him before. “It’s my dad. He…caught me looking at gay porn. He confronted me and I had to tell him. He’s so…angry. So disgusted. Fuck! He told me if he has to keep me locked up for the rest of my life, he’ll do it. He said he can’t have that shame on the family. That’s why I ran.” He began to sob now. I had never expected to see someone I thought of as so strong, so dynamic just sobbing his eyes out and it broke my heart to see it. I cradled him in my arms, resting his head against my chest. It was a powerful reminder that, in spite of his dominance in so much of our relationship, he was still so young and so vulnerable to the cruelty of the world. I held him close and spoke softly to him. “I know it’s hard. I know how it feels to be rejected by your family for who you are, who you love.” I stroked his soft blond hair, wrapping an arm around bartın escort his waist and keeping him close to me. “But people can come around too. Your dad’s shocked right now. He’s scared and uncertain. It can change eventually.” There was anger in his voice. “Or not. Fuck him, Matt! I want him to accept me like I am! Now he’s saying I’m bringing shame to the fucking family! Fuck him!” Again he began to sob brokenly, speaking through his tears. “He’s such a bastard. He’s always treating me like shit and making me feel small. Now he wants to ruin my life, now he wants to fucking stop me from seeing…anyone. I won’t be able to see you any more! Oh god Matt! I won’t be able to see…” He collapsed against me and shook, sobbing until finally the tears began to subside. I held him tight and eventually spoke again. “Right now, you need to let people know you’re okay. I know you don’t want to but we don’t want them calling the cops out. At least call Emmy and your parents. Your dad may be an asshole, but at least do it for your mom.” He sighed. “I know but I don’t wanna go home right now.” I rubbed his back in slow circles. “Well can you stay with Emmy for a bit? You know I’d have to stay with me in a heartbeat if I could, but I don’t think that’s a great idea right now with things like they are.” Eventually he did call his parents. Luckily his mother picked up and he had a good cry with her before she agreed to let him stay with Emmy. After that, he called Emmy and her parents (who were thankfully progressive hippie types) agreed that it would be fine if he stayed for a while. Having addressed the more immediate concerns, I decided that it was time that I got him back to Emmy’s. I didn’t want to linger too much, knowing that he probably needed to eat something and get a shower. As we drove, our discussion turned again to his father, someone who was clearly a pervasive and less than positive force in his life. He stared out of the window as the scenery passed by. “Dad has never liked a fucking thing I ever did. He doesn’t like me skating, he doesn’t like me breakdancing. Fuck he doesn’t even like me thinking for myself. The guy wants a fucking copy of himself and every time I do something he doesn’t want me to do, it just disappoints him more.” His voice grew thick for a moment but he gained control of himself. “Now he finds out I’m queer before I can fucking tell him myself and again I let him the fuck down. I don’t even know why the hell I give a shit if he cares or not, but somehow it still matters to me.” I sighed. “Well you’re still his son and sons are supposed to seek their father’s approval, even when it makes no sense to do it. I know your father’s been hard on you, probably to the point of extreme unfairness but it’s hard to stop feeling like you’ve got expectations to meet.” Hayden was quiet for a batıkent escort few minutes and I let him have his quiet. Sometimes words just get in the way. Eventually he spoke again. “Sometimes I remember good stuff we’ve done or when he joked around with me. Lately none of that seems to happen. All I feel is him disapproving of me and now that he knows I’m gay, I feel like that’s only gonna get worse.” I weighed what I was going to say carefully. “Well, yeah, it might. Trust me though, fathers can come around. Sometimes they can anyhow. Right now, it’s gonna be tough but I’m here for you any time you need to talk. You never need to be scared of talking to me!” He reached across the centre console of the car and put his hand on my arm, squeezing it gently and letting go. “I know Matt. I’m sorry I freaked out and ran. I shoulda talked to you, but I wasn’t thinking.” I shook my head. “Nah! Nothing to be sorry for, Hayden. Sometimes it all gets to be too much. I get that.” Again quiet fell over the car and we sat in a silence that wasn’t at all comfortable. When I stopped for red lights, Hayden would reach across and stroke my hair or gently touch my hand for a moment as if to say “I’m here, I love you” before we resumed the silence. Outside of Emmy’s house, he glanced around briefly to make sure the coast was clear, leaned in and kissed me warmly on the mouth, quickly darting his tongue inside and slipping it out before looking me full in the eyes. “I love you, Matt. I’ll call you tonight and sorry again! I swear I won’t scare you like that again.” I was reluctant to let him go, but eventually we parted ways. Emmy gave me a wave as I drove off. I felt like my entire body had been beaten on because of the stress that I’d been under. All I wanted to do was get home, cook dinner and sit and soak in a warm bath. In the bath, I mused on the ideas of fathers and sons. Why are our relationships so difficult, so often with our fathers? Is it just the nature of the expectations put on us by society as men? My own father and I have a fraught relationship but we have found an accommodation with each other. I hoped that Hayden and his father could do the same. It also lead me to thinking about my relationship with Hayden. Did he view me in any way as a father figure? I thought not given the nature of our sexual relationship and his dominant role in it, but at the very least I was an older male figure to whom he could talk. I didn’t know whether I entirely liked that idea or not, given the way I made my best attempts to treat him as an equal, as much as it’s ever possible in the kind of power relationship that exists between younger guys and men older than them. I decided that as long as I was there for him, overanalyzing the situation wasn’t worth the effort. In bed, my body ached for him, ached for the chance to be as close as we could be. His absence had only cemented my desire to have him be a part of my life in as many ways as it was possible. In the coming days and weeks, I’d find pleasure, pain and struggle. However, that is indeed a story for another day, so I’ll fill you in when next we meet.

Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32