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In gratitude to M, who dare to ask and dared to act.

I had been living almost five months under a painful spell of celibacy. For a guy who wanted out of our marriage, Bill didn’t seem to be in any hurry to move out of our house and on with his life. We’d separated sleeping arrangements on July 4th. I know it’s supposed to be Independence Day but I was feeling anything but free of his tyranny as Fall approached. I felt trapped in this role he preferred to reality, playing a ‘good wife’ for appearances only, in a marriage that existed only on paper. Our children weren’t supposed to know, nor our friends, nor the professional community in which he marked his real worth to the world. And the only reason I stayed in my trap was because I hoped to avoid the financial and emotional costs of a contested divorce. Negotiations between us were ongoing.

On September 6th that year, he barely wished me a happy birthday, certainly not a card or a gift. My fortune cookie the weekend before had read, “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” At the suggestion of an online confidante, I decided to give myself a very special birthday present. I posted my profile on one of the online services. I sought only erotic email or chat. This seemed safest given Bill’s hovering presence and his intermittent threats of custody battles over our son.

On the very first day, perhaps the very first hour my profile became available online, I received an email from you. Without even intending it, you began to break through both spells of celibacy under which I’d found myself living. The one (which only got worse after exchanging steamy emails with you and other online lovers) was the celibacy of my body. I began to trust you and found myself placing a call to your office, almost without meaning to go that far. We began to speak over the phone almost daily, and when your number appeared on caller I.D. my clit would throb and my breath would catch eryaman escort in my throat, anticipating our conversation. Whenever your voice reached out to me over the miles between us, my pussy ached for you. The real surprise was that other spell of celibacy that I didn’t even know had been cast over me until you removed it. You ended the celibacy of my heart. You gave me permission to care about you.

It’s winter now and cold here. Bill recently bought himself a down comforter at Costco so he has the heat down to 65 degrees all day. Ever since moving into the spare bedroom he has become more and more oblivious to my needs, not just sexually. My room has the high cathedral ceilings and gets chillier than his which is a normal height. I decided to get into bed in my clothes and undress underneath my quilt. I was wearing a pair of Danskin tights and as I put my hands in the waistband and began to lower them, I imagined it was your hands removing my clothes and exposing my body to your touch. I pulled them down very slowly, stopping every few inches to stroke the bare skin as I imagine you might do. This was getting me very aroused. Once they were down near my knees, I imagined you stroking me gently from waist to knees, barely touching me, just feeling me respond. I actually began to moan at this point.

For a while you had me imagining you running your hands up and down all the exposed surfaces of my body. You decide you need more of me and begin to lower the tights further down past my knees. You part my legs so you can stroke the insides of my thighs now that the tights do not bind me around my knees. You don’t ever directly touch my pussy but just stroke near and around it. I began to roll from side to side and imagined you were stroking the backs of each of my thighs from my ass to the hollows behind my knees. This all seemed incredibly real to me at the sincan escort time, like you and I were somewhere together learning each other’s bodies. I’m trying to keep my moaning down because I’m not alone in the house but everything feels incredibly hot.

At some point you go back to my breasts. You lower the straps half way down my upper arms and begin to stroke my shoulders and the part of my chest that is exposed. It’s hard to be quiet now. You do this slowly and gently and I feel myself getting so caught up in it, it’s hard to believe that our words and my re-enactment can do this to my body. My hands are beginning to feel like your hands as you slide them under the edges of my bra. You lower the straps even further and continue teasing me with your light touching and gentle squeezing and stroking. At some point, my arms come out of the straps and you lower the cups over my breasts until I’m fully accessible to your touch. You’re still gentle but more insistent. You take possession of my breasts and mold them to your hands, more of the bra is lowered down. Even as you lower it, you are still stroking the bare skin everywhere. As the bra reaches my waist still fastened around me you stroke me above and inside of that, I feel incredibly aroused wearing it like a waist cincher around the naked skin.

You run your hands down my body once more and remove the tights from around my knees and kick them out of bed. Now I’m completely bare except for the girdle of my bra still fastened around my waist. You stroke me everywhere you can reach. I get into a higher and higher state of arousal, moving my body to give more access to your hands. You remove the bra at last and pull your focus back to my breasts. You haven’t touch my clit at all but when you run your hands past my pussy I can feel how wet I’m getting.

At this point you begin to really work on my breasts, etlik escort stroking them, squeezing them …all your attention goes to the nipples and you begin tugging gently, letting go and stroking again. Alternating this until I’m sure there is nothing to me but that. As you are doing this I begin to experience the connection between my pussy and what you are doing to my nipples. Tugging, making them even harder, pinching a little, twisting just enough to make the shock waves travel right down my body to my clit. I begin raising my hips up and down as I imagine you there watching me get more and more flushed. Slowly I feel the beginnings of an orgasm building. As you put all your energy into teasing, tugging and twisting my nipples, I begin cumming and continue cumming for several minutes. I knew this was possible but I couldn’t remember when or if it had last happened to me. God, it felt so incredibly wonderful that as I finish I curl into a ball and begin to cry. I am still incredibly aroused and I want a hard cock to wrap around as I continue throbbing and moaning. I miss the connection of two bodies together, cumming in someone’s arms.

Warning: I have been known to break into tears after orgasm or to resolve into uncontrollable laughter. I think it’s physiological but it can be disconcerting if you’re not expecting it. Sign of a cosmic experience.

My husband had two predictions, he’s half Italian so I’ll call the first one a curse. “Without me, you’d be living out of a shopping cart or lying dead under a bridge.” I suppose that was intended to entice me to stay with him for the promised economic benefits and so he wouldn’t have to mar his facade of respectability. Funny bit of reverse psychology. On a better day, he’d speak out of his Irish half and send me a blessing, “You’ll just have lots of lovers and then remarry.” I’m supposing that relieved him of his guilt over being the one to call it quits without giving me so much as a backwards glance. But Bill is not the focus of my story, so I do not write to call attention to his errant ways. I came filled with gratitude to you for being the first to show me the way to Door Number Two. And when I do remarry I hope it’s someone just as open and genuine as you have always been with me.

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